23 Jun

We all do it... Compare ourselves to others... I've done it... Why not me? Why can't I look / be / act / feel like that? 

Comparisons are always around us, in our faces throughout the day.  Adverts on television, social media feeds or just having a coffee with some friends. We see and hear things and our mind starts ticking over asking "Why have I not got that life? The  expensive car, the exotic holiday, the big house...  Is it because I'm too fat / thin / young / old / tall / short / got curly hair / got straight hair / gay / male / female / not clever enough / got kids / not got kids...?" The list could go on! These daily comparisons we make sucks the joy and happiness out of us and our lives.

We all see the world differently and have a path that is right for us.  When we compare, we block this path and choose one we think we should, for fear of being judged or gossiped about.  Why would I take a different path to everyone? I don't want to be the one who stands out? The one who does something different to the rest? Comparison keeps us fearful, fearful of being 'different'.  The voice in our head, comparing and questioning - holding us back from doing what we want.

Who we compare ourselves to is important.  When we compare, we almost always choose someone who is the best at something as opposed to someone who is adequate. We decide to bake a cake and choose to compare our finished article to our best mate who bakes for a living.  Or we take up running and compare ourselves to a friend who has been running for years and who participates regularly in marathons. Unsurprisingly, our happiness in our achievements will be short lived the more we compare ourselves.  But is everyone not on their own journey at different times?  I read the other day about 'Positive Envy and Comparison' - use others achievements to strive to become better, to push you further rather than feel jealous and bitter towards them. Your cake making friend was once where you were, just starting out with a burnt inedible cake.  That person who is flying in a business once had no customers. Did they let this stop them?  Use these people to inspire you, rather than thinking 'I wish I could do that but I'll never be as good as them'. Set those goals for you, make a plan, stick to it through the  and go get the life you want.

It's the easiest option to feel negative towards someone who has achieved something and these thoughts end up doing you harm, not them. The negative feeling you get when you hear something, decide in your mind to switch it and ask yourself "'Why do I feel this way towards them?"  It usually is because it highlights something we are lacking in ourselves, whether that's a particular skill set, motivation or a fear of failure maybe?.  Once we discover what that block is, it can be worked on to FREE us to start living how we want - free from comparison. Be pleased for people, celebrate their successes with them and address any changes in you that you would like to make to progress on your journey.  It all comes back to YOU.

Be kind to  yourself, see yourself and practise at becoming the best version of yourself daily.  We are all working progress at different stages of our journey in the adventure of life.  Practise at being in the moment, being present NOW, enjoying life just as it is and for what it is and let the comparisons go. There is only one YOU that no one else can compare to - embrace who YOU are and go live!

Be brave, BECOME YOU     ❤️ 

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